Is anybody still here?

Just finished the dishes and now some relaxing time. It's snowing for the first time this season. I opened the curtains so I can watch the snow fall... It's very peaceful, and quiet with the exception of the music playing ever so low from the stereo.

I went to a gallery space in town today that was having an event where local artists were selling their work. There was an array of items for sale: paintings, t-shirts, jewelry, picture frames, buttons, greeting cards, trinket boxes, cribbage boards, etc. It was incredible! Granted I wasn't there long because I got there as they were closing up, but definitely had a good time. The extraordinary thing was how inspired I was... On SO MANY levels. As soon as I began wandering around the room, I was filled with ideas. There was so much I wanted to do, right then and there. It was overwhelming, but in a good way. All these projects and concepts packed so tightly in my head I could barely walk straight. I miss that. How come I haven't felt that in a while? I mean, this passion was always a key part of my life- a key part of me. It consumed me and I let it do so full-heartedly. It kept me up night after night sketching, painting, writing, whatever! It kept me real. It allowed me to create; create my life. I used to feel empowered to enhance my own life and the lives of everyone around me. I've come to realize this foggy feeling I've had is the absence of that. It makes me feel like I'm sitting in a box without anything else in it. No room to move and nothing inside to inspire me.

I guess what's unsettling is the question, Who am I without this passion?

I can't believe that I've lived in Maine for over a year now.

just downloaded the LJ App on my phone even tho I bearly use it anymore...

and we try, it's too easy just to fall apart.

am i a static or dynamic character?

hmm... most of life's seemingly important questions are also quite irrelevant.

blah...

i wonder...

Ugh. I'm so stuffed up right now. All I want to do is sleep, but I can't.

Maine is great. Life is alright. But it's funny how there's always so much more that you want to do in life than what seems attainable. And what's more funny is that you don't even know what that "more" is. All you know is that you want it. More than anything else you do. It's depressing sometimes to think about it too much. I guess you just need to focus on what's in front of you. You can't reach up if you don't know where you're standing, right? I guess I don't know what I'm saying. Who really does? And if we all feel like this, how can we all be lonely?

i think i may go to the art walk tomorrow...